It’s been a minute since I last wrote here, however, it’s been a time of reflection and focusing on my child as he is growing. It’s been a challenging time as well with the changes and getting myself immersed in the online world. I realized one thing though. All this time that I had been working on a little bit here and there, I had all these resources in my hand and I just didn’t know how to make use of them. Writing for me has been a way to release my thoughts and not think too much about something. This week started quite hopeful and everything seemed to be going well. All of a sudden, everything that I thought was good was not that great. Now when you find that things are getting out of control just a little bit, you can adjust it a little bit. However, when it’s out of your control then there’s not much you can do. I was going through a few things and then I realized I had an account with a company for a very long time, close to 10 years. I felt a little embarrassed that I did not even know how to use it. It’s like having a piece of land and you don’t know how to use it for farming. These things are common and that’s why I started looking through all the things I have spent time doing. Many years back, I decided to use my time wisely and do something that can help me, especially for a time like now when you have children and still need some income coming in. 

Click bank

I have had a Click bank account for over 10 years now. I did not have a clue how to use it.  I sat down and just accounted for the wasted opportunities and time and let me tell you we all have that. It’s always good to set time aside just to assess everything that you are doing. What are you wasting your time with? It could be worrying about finances which is something many people do but what are you going to do about it? Will you get an extra job, perhaps take some time to learn another skill so that you can use it? I decided to look into this account I had set up and I was doing absolutely nothing about it. I think I was so absorbed with different tasks that I put it to the side. I just managed to go through it and realized I was sleeping while saying there are many ways to make money. 

The future

I have seen a little report that mentions that A. I which has started being used quite diligently will be taking over jobs in the next 3 years at least 20 % of jobs will be obsolete. What are you doing now to brush up on your skills? These questions could be thought-provoking to some, but to others, they are probably working on themselves and so this is just something that does not worry them at all. We have seen the work landscape over the last 3 years, and it will continue to rapidly transform. I remember the days when applications would be in person and you had to write a letter and provide physical copies of your resume. Those days are long gone, now things are moving digital and it’s changing at an extremely rapid pace. The children born after 2000 have grown up with technology fully. Not sure how it will be in the future specifically but we can be glad that technology has helped the world become a little smaller than before. This means that people can use technology from any place as long as they use it wisely. We have also seen the negative consequences of it for those who misuse things. 

Having a little

I do not know why I wanted to set myself up for a long time but I remember the various experiences and disappointments that I have had along the way. I think because of that, I decided that I needed to change my thought process and work on things early before it’s too late. For those that just want to start, it’s never too late to begin even if it means setting out an hour daily or even weekly to organize yourself. You can only make time for that goal you want to set. It has not been easy but the little goals that I set make me happy. The little time I have set aside just to do a little here and there shows that there is some progress. It can be as fast or as slow as you want. 

Learning bit by bit

It’s been a long journey but for me this year will be different and I will make sure that the goals that are set are completed. The main goal is not to make an excuse no matter how tough it is. Consistency is the key to achieving anything. As I look back, although there are things that could have been done better, they were done. There is nothing that cannot be done unless you put your mind to it. If you are struggling with anything, don’t give up. If you have a belief system then look to your maker and also get the support you need. You will always find a tribe that will be behind you 100%. This year I was assessing the power of belief, it’s key to belief in yourself. You cannot live without self-belief. It’s more challenging than you think. There is a thin line between self-belief and pride. It’s important to stay humble no matter what as there is always something new you can learn. I have decided that for me even though I know something, I will go through the process if I don’t know something, I will ask or do it again until I feel confident. One thing that I can say for sure about any thing. Never give up. 

Struggles Lately

I have been seeing a few videos online where individuals are going back to a relaxer. It’s interesting because I wanted a relaxer ever since they existed and I knew I could have one. However, after using them for quite a while I found that the result was not ideal for me. Therefore, the argument that this is better or that is better is not one that I normally deal with. At the end of the day, it’s easier to deal with what is working for you. If your hair is extremely thick and you cannot use an afro comb for it but the relaxer makes it manageable, nobody should tell you what you should do. Sometimes I wonder though a long time back before relaxer individuals had to deal with their hair. Is it easier just to cut it short and maintain it? Is it easier to keep it longer, I guess you could say those are the challenges and struggles lately.

Postnatal issues

Since giving birth and looking after my baby, I find that I don’t have time to look after myself. I am not around family support, so I focus on the child and neglect myself. The time for self-care is just not possible for me so I have to either make sure that my baby is sleeping then I can do a few things here and there, but I find that cooking and other responsibilities are at the top of my list in the comparison to myself. However, I make sure that every little minute I get I can be working on a few things where I can. In terms of hair care, I minimize my styling so much that I can say that I have not used heat on my hair for almost one year now. I have not even utilized other methods of styling other than twists and braiding which are time savers on some days but everything has to be done in bits in pieces so I tend to find myself wearing many hats. I have a favorite brand at the moment and it’s just amazing how it has so many varieties and the silk inside them helps keep the hair moisturized. I think I can do better with hair maintenance especially when it comes to moisturizing but I always think about it on wash days. Lately, I have been thinking about doing a haircut that would make it much easier to maintain but I have not made up my mind about it.

Low maintenance

This season of my life is only here for some time, eventually, I will get that time back most likely after a few years but it’s during these moments that you have to re-evaluate and organize your time. It’s also a time to enjoy your baby and time with the family. I prep what is necessary such as food because I need to spend less time trying to get lunches and dinners done. Motherhood can be challenging at times but I try to take it one day at a time so that when I get a little overwhelmed I know it’s time for a walk or to communicate with someone else.

Routine Change

Before the baby came, I had a specific and set routine that I enjoyed, I would wake up each morning and do my prayer and meditation, then I would get some exercise before getting breakfast ready. After the baby came along, with the way he wakes up every night, I just have to figure out what is important to do in the morning. If I cannot exercise then I will have to change that to another time during the day. Until the baby is older, I will probably be walking a lot more and not doing my classes as I enjoy. I tend to wash my hair once a week but like I said I limit the times that I can work on it. The beauty of this time in life is that although it’s tough, it will pass and once they get older, they you have other challenges to face. The only thing that I don’t want to miss is the little milestones as he grows up. If you have experienced any changes in your life lately, what have to done to help you cope?

Sometimes in life, you may want to change a look because you just want to have a different appearance or there is a change in your life. You may decide to go to the hairdressers quickly and maybe the stylist that you normally get is not there. You have no choice you have booked in and you have to follow-through, then an unfortunate event takes place. Bad haircut. 

Bad haircut

You may have a big date coming up or a looking for a quick fix for an important event. Maybe your usual hairdresser is not around and you are forced to get your hair done by someone that usually does not do your hair. You describe what you want them to do and then you leave it to them assuming that they will do as you say. You may be browsing through your phone or just looking at the magazine, and then they inform you that they are done. As soon as you view it, you really don’t like it and don’t know what to say. What do you do? Well assuming that you have an afro or relaxed hair, here are a few options that could be of use to you.

1. Afro or relaxed hair

If you have an afro, then you can pat down your hair to even it all out once you spray it with water. The beauty with afro hair is that you can make it look even although that may not be the case. If your hair is relaxed, you could tie it up and probably use an accessory like a silk band to put around your head to look pretty. Although, you may have wanted to have your hair down.

2. Shorter style

If you have some time available, you could potentially get your hair cut shorter in order to make sure that your hair is cut to a good length.

3. Braids

If you have some spare time, it would probably be ideal to get your hair braided in order to make sure that it is styled well for the event.

4. Use a wig

If time is critical and you have no options left, you can always use a wig. A lace front one would be ideal as you can get some good quality nowadays. Make sure that it’s installed well on your head.

5. Cancel your date

You may not want to do this but if you don’t have an option, then maybe you can cancel your date and reshedule it so that you can work on fixing your hair is some way. Sometimes you just have to make use of the situation.

Have you had a bad haircut experience before? If you have what did you do?

It’s that time of year, not sure how to describe it this year. However just counting my blessings this year. Here is a list of 8 great afro items that you can get family members or friends this season.

Detangler brush

If you have been struggling with detangling you hair, or know friends and family that struggle with tangles. If you would like to give a great gift, then look no further. You can find this on a few platforms such as wish, amazon, ebay. It is available in many colours and would be quite suitable for any hair type, especially curly hair. It works so well and assists with the detangling process. 

T-Shirt Towel

If you have never tried this, it’s the best thing ever because when you use a t-shirt towel your hair tends to be less frizzy and does not get very dry. Preferrably get one that is 100% cotton and not any other type of material as other materials will dry out your hair.  The t-shirt towel can be found on amazon, ebay and iherb as well. 

Scrubber

If you want a new experience for your scalp and a nice clean feeling after every wash, consider getting a scrubber. If you suffer from an itchy scalp the scrubber is particulary useful after you braid your hair. It will help rejuvenate your scalp and you will have a cleaner scalp. 

Satin Cap

I will never go back to any other cap. The satin cap is ideal especially for natural hair as it can be used for various activities especially sleeping. Also it minimizes the problem of you having to deal with your scarf which normally moves when you sleep. To this day I always wonder how this happens but glad that those days are long gone. 

Puff holder

It’s always difficult to put your hair in one bun when you have naturally thick hair, without having to pull it too hard and after sometime taking it down because your head is pounding. You can always use a puff holder to keep your hair looking neat and in good condtion. It is also great to have a puff holder as it is.

Silk head band

The silk head band is the best thing ever. It minimizes hair breakage, it helps keep your hair moisturized and it feels good on your hair and skin too. If you want to change up your look, having different color silk head bands make for a variety of looks everyday if you want. 

Steam hair dyer

If you have to use treatment, a steam hair dryer is a great gift and investment for yourself as well. There are multiple benefits of using a steam hair dryer. I will probably provide more information about this next time as I have been searching for the ideal steamer especially for afro hair. There are quite a few options and it’s up to you to select the type of steam dryer you have. I currently have the portable one. It looks similar to the one below.

Seperation clips

If you don’t have seperation clips and you have afro hair, then you will have a lot of tangled hair. It’s also great when you are straightening or blow drying your hair, although I would do this once in a while. If this is something that you like, here is a clip that would work well on your hair.

As you end this year, it’s important to note that the past few years have come with various lessons. One of the things I have learnt is that it’s good to use what you have. If you are not using it, then it’s time to either give it away if it is in good condition or throw it away if you don’t require it. Is there anything on the list that you don’t have and also is there something that you would add to this list of items?

Can you live a year without heat on your hair especially when its afro 4C, extremely curly and difficult to manage. Well the answer to that will depend on the thickness of your hair, the porosity and also the surrounding individuals. This year, I managed to live most of it heat free. It has been challenging just enjoying my hair as it is in its curly state.

Strategies for afro hair

Now how did I survive you ma

y wonder? Well each time I washed my hair after a wash day, I would try to air -dry it more than using a towel because I always felt that the towel just makes the hair get more tangled. Immediately I would get my wide-toothed comb and section it off, depending on the mood of the day, I would either put in twists or massive flat twists to save time. I also found that it helped to use moisturize on my hair to avoid it from getting too dry. This would mean that if I wanted to remove the twists or flat twists after some time, the hair will not be in its original state of shrinkage.

Embrace the afro

I soon learned to embrace my afro in its most natural state, without manipulation, I would just put oil and let it dry. This took some time to get used to, I will let you know why. Firstly, I grew up with this idea that your hair cannot be in the afro state at all. If it is in that state you must do something about it. Secondly, I remember some comments I would get with my hair in this state, none of them were compliments so this really plays with your mind. Thirdly, there is this idea that we always had when we were younger that if an individual’s hair is just in its original state, then it is unkempt.

I had to acknowledge that these ideas were not right because I always wash my hair every single week. I always make sure to detangle and deep condition in order to keep my hair in good condition. Learning to just embrace my afro helped me to view these ideas as completely foreign and know that sometimes you have to love everything about you, regardless of what anyone thinks. This was a lesson for me and now when I view myself, I don’t acknowledge those negative views anymore.

Care for the afro

I came to realize how fragile and deprived my hair because it get’s dry every 3 days. I had to learn how to moisturize it often. I realized that my scalp was quite sensitive and it really needed nourishment to minimize it from getting dry. I learned how to work in maintaining it as it was and realized that moisture and my hair are friends. I have low-porosity hair, that means that most times when I use a cream or some type of butter, it will just stay on my hair and take a long time to absorb. This meant that I had to start utilizing more light oils on my scalp like jojoba and argan oil. I also started minimizing the use of coconut on my hair although my hair certainly likes it, the only problem I get is when it solidifies.

Maintenance

I came to realize that with my hair, especially before bed, I would make sure that I wrap it up before going to bed. This is something that is necessary for maintenance of afro hair. When its neglected it tends to dry and becomes a lot more brittle and difficult to manage. I would also use my little bottle that had water should I want to add moisture to it. Any individual would think that the process is cumbersome, however if you want to maintain natural hair, unless you have other products that can keep it in good condition, this is necessary.

It actually made me think about all the thinks that were done to natural hair way before products came up. Although a few years back I was always looking for the next new product. I stopped getting a lot of products after realizing how some would not get used. I am also quite particular about what I use on my hair so I stopped getting the next new thing and just worked with all the items that I had.

What do I use?

When I wash my hair, I discovered Maui, I really love it. Although it can be costly, I got it on sale.

I really like how wonderful it feels on my hair. I usually use this and most times just a shampoo that does not contain sulfates. I find with these types of shampoo’s I get fewer tangles and it also get’s well moisturized.

Once I am done I normally get my conditioner which is mostly jojoba and sometimes coconut.

I also put some oil on my scalp just to keep it from drying up, mostly shea butter. Which does not have much of a smell and does melt on the scalp.

This process takes a shorter time as before this I used to spend at least half a day on my scalp, now after I wash it its quite a quick process, I just wash and put moisturizer and I am on my way.

Deep Conditioning

I use deep conditioning at least every month, although I want to experiment with that every week to see what will happen to the hair. I think especially in summer it would work, however in winter I would probably keep it to once a month.

The deep conditioning that I use is Garner although this changed as I was only using henna conditioner.

The main thing I find with deep conditioner, is that most of them can be used as they are mostly moisturizing to the hair. The amount of time you use it on your head depends, however the longer the better. I normally make sure that I have it on my head when I know that I will not be running too many errands, although even if you are running errands, there are so many options now to used to cover your head.

The only challenge at the moment is that I certainly need a trim to make sure that my afro is in good condition.

As I reflect on this year, firstly I would like to mention that although it has been difficult, I believe that there is a lot that I have learned and one thing I have learned to embrace is my hair. The best part of the journey has been learning just to embrace it as it is.