Struggles Lately
I have been seeing a few videos online where individuals are going back to a relaxer. It’s interesting because I wanted a relaxer ever since they existed and I knew I could have one. However, after using them for quite a while I found that the result was not ideal for me. Therefore, the argument that this is better or that is better is not one that I normally deal with. At the end of the day, it’s easier to deal with what is working for you. If your hair is extremely thick and you cannot use an afro comb for it but the relaxer makes it manageable, nobody should tell you what you should do. Sometimes I wonder though a long time back before relaxer individuals had to deal with their hair. Is it easier just to cut it short and maintain it? Is it easier to keep it longer, I guess you could say those are the challenges and struggles lately.
Postnatal issues
Since giving birth and looking after my baby, I find that I don’t have time to look after myself. I am not around family support, so I focus on the child and neglect myself. The time for self-care is just not possible for me so I have to either make sure that my baby is sleeping then I can do a few things here and there, but I find that cooking and other responsibilities are at the top of my list in the comparison to myself. However, I make sure that every little minute I get I can be working on a few things where I can. In terms of hair care, I minimize my styling so much that I can say that I have not used heat on my hair for almost one year now. I have not even utilized other methods of styling other than twists and braiding which are time savers on some days but everything has to be done in bits in pieces so I tend to find myself wearing many hats. I have a favorite brand at the moment and it’s just amazing how it has so many varieties and the silk inside them helps keep the hair moisturized. I think I can do better with hair maintenance especially when it comes to moisturizing but I always think about it on wash days. Lately, I have been thinking about doing a haircut that would make it much easier to maintain but I have not made up my mind about it.
Low maintenance
This season of my life is only here for some time, eventually, I will get that time back most likely after a few years but it’s during these moments that you have to re-evaluate and organize your time. It’s also a time to enjoy your baby and time with the family. I prep what is necessary such as food because I need to spend less time trying to get lunches and dinners done. Motherhood can be challenging at times but I try to take it one day at a time so that when I get a little overwhelmed I know it’s time for a walk or to communicate with someone else.
Routine Change
Before the baby came, I had a specific and set routine that I enjoyed, I would wake up each morning and do my prayer and meditation, then I would get some exercise before getting breakfast ready. After the baby came along, with the way he wakes up every night, I just have to figure out what is important to do in the morning. If I cannot exercise then I will have to change that to another time during the day. Until the baby is older, I will probably be walking a lot more and not doing my classes as I enjoy. I tend to wash my hair once a week but like I said I limit the times that I can work on it. The beauty of this time in life is that although it’s tough, it will pass and once they get older, they you have other challenges to face. The only thing that I don’t want to miss is the little milestones as he grows up. If you have experienced any changes in your life lately, what have to done to help you cope?
2 replies on “Afro updates”
All of our lives changed during COVID and the life after it. Suddenly, there was lot of time for self and family during lock-down and now none of that trace remains after re-opening. For me, I can relate only partially with what you are undergoing at this time with a baby in the house.
It was quite difficult for me with my first-born. He used to keep us awake throughout the night and I had a full time job then- I was fighting to keep myself awake during the day. Thankfully, a routine returned when he started going to the school.
You too will find more order for yourself when the child starts learning things. It does take a while but you need to be patient.
Regards,
Rohit
Rohit, I can definitely relate we had time for family and the important things. Yes patience is key. Children are very small but they really do bring big changes in life. I love it and I know it’s a short season which will pass quickly.